I died again and no one cared

There seems a never ending list of people these days, who disappoint me daily. From friends who never pick up their phones when I call, or only call me when they need something, to my husband, who, in finding out that I had the flu, peeled out of the house as fast as he could to go on a business trip clear across the country for 5 days.
Every time I turn around, someone is letting me down.

It’s very difficult not to feel hurt, not to feel let down by those around me. I’m not going to lie.  I feel like most people in my generally vicinity suck. That’s the long and short of it. And I could, very easily, fall victim to a mindset of getting back at them. Ignoring them, making life difficult for them, all because I hurt.
But I choose not to.

Self centeredness is something that every person, Christian or not, will struggle with until the day we die. When we are self centered, nothing spiritual gets through. Any blessing, any breakthrough, is bogged up, like a clog in the line of the drain from Heaven to Earth. Sure, you can justify your hurt all day long, telling yourself that others deserve what they get from you. After all, they’re the ones who forced you to act this way.
But no one is forcing you to act poorly. It’s just an excuse. It’s a demand that self centeredness requires to keep you in bondage.

The Apostle Paul said that he died daily (1 Corinthians 15:31). He didn’t mean that his body physically died, but that he had to choose not to be self centered every day.
The cure for self centeredness is God’s Word. To replace your thoughts with God’s thoughts.
And God’s thoughts are not of this world.
Renewing your mind with God’s thoughts requires the death of your old mind. It’s constant and dynamic, requires choice on your part and a willingness to do the work.

Proverbs 14:12 states “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death”.
We live in a modern world where 144 characters can define our moods. Where we have 1000 opportunities a minute to be offended at the very slightest thing. We talk at each other instead of with each other, each waiting for their turn to get their points across.
But no one ever gets their points across because we are all too busy making points.

I choose not to be offended, because God has shown me that in doing so, I will have peace.
His peace.
A peace that surpasses all understanding.
Quite frankly, it’s too much work now to get rankled over every little thing. For the length of time I’d spend being angry, hurt or plotting revenge, I could spend that time more productively, at peace.
I’m not perfect, not every day. There are days I would much rather cut someone than love them, much rather pick a fight than walk away from one. But those days come less often than in the past.

I could’ve spent the 5 days my husband was gone, moping around angry. Instead, since I was down for the count anyway, I CHOSE to renew my mind with God’s Word. To replace the anger with His Peace.
I CHOSE to die to self. And I am grateful for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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